In the fast-paced world of entrepreneurship, where networking, client relations, and team cohesion are paramount, the ability to foster genuine connections through conversation is not merely a soft skill—it’s a critical business asset. Vanessa Van Edwards, a renowned behavioral analyst and author, has dedicated two decades to dissecting the dynamics of effective communication. Her latest book, "Conversation: How to Connect with Anyone & Make Every Interaction Count," distills her research into actionable strategies, offering entrepreneurs and professionals alike five potent phrases designed to elevate their conversational prowess and build stronger relationships.

Van Edwards, who admits to not being a "natural conversationalist" herself, emphasizes that these phrases are not about manipulation but about authentic engagement. "The goal is to make people feel seen, heard, and valued," Van Edwards stated in a recent interview, reflecting on the core tenet of her work. "These are tools that, when used with sincerity, can unlock deeper rapport and understanding, ultimately benefiting both personal and professional endeavors." The book, published on October 6, 2026, by Portfolio, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, aims to equip individuals with the psychological underpinnings and practical application of these impactful phrases.

The Foundation of Connection: Why Conversation Matters

The significance of adept communication in the business realm cannot be overstated. Studies have consistently shown a strong correlation between strong interpersonal skills and professional success. A 2023 report by the Harvard Business Review indicated that employees with superior communication abilities are 47% more likely to be promoted than their less communicative peers. Furthermore, in the entrepreneurial landscape, the ability to articulate a vision, build trust with investors, and foster a collaborative team environment are direct outcomes of effective dialogue. Van Edwards’ research suggests that entrepreneurs who excel in conversation are better positioned to secure funding, close deals, and build loyal customer bases.

"As an entrepreneur, your days are filled with interactions," Van Edwards explains. "From pitching to investors to onboarding new team members, every conversation is an opportunity to build or break trust. We tend to gravitate towards individuals who are not only competent but also approachable and easy to engage with. Mastering these conversational nuances can be a significant differentiator." Her work draws on extensive observation and analysis of individuals who naturally excel at building rapport, identifying recurring linguistic patterns that contribute to their likability and effectiveness.

Five Phrases to Cultivate Deeper Connections

Van Edwards’ research highlights five specific phrases that, when employed authentically, can significantly enhance conversational flow and foster immediate connection. These phrases are rooted in psychological principles that tap into fundamental human needs for recognition, validation, and belonging.

1. "I was just thinking about you!"

This phrase taps into the innate human desire to be remembered and acknowledged. By expressing that an individual has been on one’s mind, it immediately creates a sense of personal connection and significance. Van Edwards shares an anecdote where she used this phrase to re-engage with a VIP contact.

"I wanted to reach out to a particular individual, but I was hesitant about how to initiate the conversation," Van Edwards recounted. "She had been on my mind, so I decided to simply state that. I sent an email with the subject line, ‘I was just thinking about you!’ In the body, I mentioned stumbling upon a skimboarding competition and how it reminded me of her. I even attached a video of a winning skim. The response was immediate and overwhelmingly positive. She shared details about a skimboard she had designed, which led to a request for a call, a breakfast meeting, and eventually an invitation to speak at her company’s corporate retreat."

The implications of this simple statement are far-reaching. It serves as an effective opener for re-establishing contact with dormant professional relationships, as well as for initiating conversations with new acquaintances. The underlying principle is that a genuine thought about someone, when articulated, validates their presence and importance in your life. This can be applied in various scenarios:

• Reconnecting: A simple text message like, "Hey! I was just thinking of you and wanted to check in. Anything new and exciting?" can reignite a connection.
• Sharing: When encountering something that reminds you of a person, a message like, "I just saw this amazing [event/product/article], and it made me think of you!" demonstrates attentiveness.
• Initiating Contact: For individuals you haven’t spoken to in a while, a phrase like, "Long time no talk. Someone recently mentioned [topic], and, of course, I thought of you," can provide a natural segue into conversation.

This phrase’s effectiveness lies in its ability to put the recipient at ease by reminding them they are top of mind, fostering a positive emotional response.

2. "Tell me more!"

Active listening is a cornerstone of effective communication. Van Edwards’ research underscores that asking questions, particularly follow-up questions, significantly enhances likability by demonstrating engagement and genuine interest. The phrase "Tell me more!" serves as a simple yet powerful prompt for deeper conversation.

Van Edwards illustrates this with a personal experience during a hospital visit. "I was in the emergency room with severe food poisoning. My nurse seemed a bit gruff, but I wanted to express my gratitude. I noticed a pin on her badge related to ‘Mellow Velo,’ a local bike shop. I asked if she was involved with it, and she became animated, sharing her passion for cycling and her role in organizing a community bike ride. Despite feeling unwell and not being a cyclist myself, I simply responded with, ‘Tell me more!’"

This simple prompt prompted the nurse to elaborate on her initiatives, leading to a longer and more engaged interaction. She spent more time in Van Edwards’ room and made frequent check-ins. This example highlights how a basic expression of interest can transform a potentially perfunctory interaction into a more meaningful exchange.

This phrase is also invaluable in more formal settings, such as networking events. If a conversation is interrupted or a speaker is cut off, interjecting with, "You were saying something so interesting. Please tell me more!" can be highly appreciated and strengthen your standing with the speaker. It signals that you are not only listening but also genuinely interested in what they have to say, making them feel valued and respected.

3. "Last time we were talking, you mentioned…"

This phrase is a powerful tool for reinforcing connections with individuals you have met previously. By recalling a specific detail from a past conversation, you demonstrate attentiveness, a good memory, and that you consider the person and their experiences noteworthy.

"This phrase carries a significant emotional weight," Van Edwards explains. "It shows you were listening and that what they shared resonated with you." Examples include following up on a vacation mentioned, a significant project, or a shared interest.

The historical precedent for this technique is evident in the story of Earvin "Magic" Johnson. Early in his relationship with Cookie Johnson, at a Michigan State University party, Magic later visited her dorm room. He brought her yellow roses, specifically because she had mentioned liking them during their earlier conversation. Cookie described this gesture as "the sweetest thing any guy who’d ever showed romantic interest in me had done." This act of remembering and acting upon a detail from a previous conversation laid a strong foundation for their enduring relationship.

The implication here is that remembering and referencing personal details from past interactions signifies a deeper level of engagement than superficial pleasantries. It signals that the individual is not just another face in the crowd but someone whose thoughts and experiences are important enough to be retained and revisited. This can be particularly effective in building loyalty and rapport within business contexts.

4. "Same here!"

The principle of similarity is a well-established driver of attraction and connection. Research consistently indicates that individuals are more likely to initiate and maintain relationships with those they perceive as similar to themselves. This can manifest in shared interests, backgrounds, or even demographic similarities.

Van Edwards shares her experience with Khloé Kardashian as a prime example of this phenomenon. "When Khloé Kardashian’s team reached out to invite me onto her podcast, I was understandably nervous about the pre-interview small talk. I compiled a list of potential commonalities—we both attended all-girls schools, and we both have two children. When we met, I shared these points, and it was as if an ‘instant bestie mode’ was activated. The conversation flowed effortlessly, and she later expressed that she didn’t want the interview to end."

This demonstrates the power of identifying and articulating shared ground. In professional settings, highlighting commonalities—whether it’s a shared alma mater, a mutual hobby, or even a similar hometown—can quickly break down barriers and create a sense of camaraderie. This is particularly useful at the outset of negotiations or initial meetings to establish a positive, relatable dynamic. The "same here!" energy isn’t just about finding superficial similarities; it’s about leveraging psychological principles of affinity to build a foundation of trust and mutual understanding.

5. "You’re so…!"

This phrase is about providing genuine validation and making others feel valued. While charm and wit are often associated with likability, Van Edwards argues that the ability to make others feel genuinely appreciated is often the more potent factor. In any interaction, individuals often subtly gauge whether they are being perceived positively.

"Your role in a conversation is often to answer those unspoken questions before they’re even asked," Van Edwards suggests. "Humans have a profound need for validation, not just for their accomplishments but for their inherent qualities." The phrase "You’re so…!" allows for specific, positive labeling that can resonate deeply.

The historical account of fashion designer Cristóbal Balenciaga offers a compelling illustration. Growing up in a humble Basque fishing village, Balenciaga, a shy and poor young man, was captivated by the elegance of the local Marquesa de Casa Torres. One day, he impulsively exclaimed, "How elegant you are!" This direct, genuine compliment, essentially "You’re so elegant!", stopped her, leading to a conversation about his eye for fashion and ultimately launching his career when she gifted him a dress to copy.

By offering positive labels that highlight qualities like humor, charisma, punctuality, or creativity, you can help individuals see themselves in a new, positive light. When people feel recognized and valued for who they are, they are often motivated to embody those positive attributes, leading to enhanced self-perception and stronger connections.

Broader Impact and Future Implications

The insights provided by Vanessa Van Edwards in "Conversation" offer a strategic framework for individuals seeking to enhance their interpersonal effectiveness. In an era increasingly dominated by digital communication, the ability to foster genuine, in-person connections through skilled conversation is becoming even more critical. The implications extend beyond individual success, impacting team dynamics, organizational culture, and overall business performance.

Businesses that foster environments where employees feel comfortable and skilled in communication are likely to experience higher levels of collaboration, innovation, and employee retention. The ability to articulate ideas clearly, provide constructive feedback, and build rapport among team members are all direct beneficiaries of mastering conversational techniques. As the business landscape continues to evolve, the enduring power of human connection, facilitated by thoughtful and intentional communication, will remain a cornerstone of success. The challenge now lies in the consistent and authentic application of these principles, transforming conversations from transactional exchanges into opportunities for meaningful engagement and lasting impact.